I can't even write what I want to write for fear that someone may actually read it someday and I'll look like a romantic fool, not a reputation I want let me tell you.
My heart still flutters after all these years when he tells me I'm beautiful and skips a beat when he leans across the seat of the car and kisses my cheek.
When he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him I melt inside and my knees go weak.
I still long for him even after all these years.
When I am laying in bed with him and I look at his face I can't help but feel an ache deep within me.
I love how soft the sheets feel against my skin when he's laying with me.
When he kisses the inside of my upper thigh, when he kisses my wrist, my neck....
I want to hold him and be with him all the time even now, after all this time.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, September 18, 2008
There are dumb asses (and angels) amongst us
Really, what more should I have to say than that?!!! Well since this is a blog allow me to elaborate.
Two days ago it my SIL and I decided to go for a walk at lunch over the walking bridge and back. It was a beautiful sunny day and the river was so calm that is was like a sheet of glass. We walked across to the north side and over the Nashwaak River walking bridge for a few minutes, saw a garbage can in the water (most likely put there by the spring flood) and walked back to the south side.
As we were nearing the south end of the bridge a very slim, young woman walked past us in the opposite direction. I couldn't help but notice the way she was holding her hands. They were pulled up at 90 degrees and her fingers were all bent in a strange way like she was very agitated. She also looked so very desperate and full of despair. My SIL noticed all of this at the same time and mentioned that something didn't seem right. Just then we both looked behind us in the direction of the young woman.
She put her foot on the first rung of the wooden railing. My SIL says in a rushed ton "holy F*@#! She's gonna jump!!" And just then the woman quickly scaled the whole railing and threw her leg over the top and climbed down the other side. My SIL started running toward her and I ran toward a pair of girls and asked for a cell phone. I began dialing 911 while my SIL grabbed the girl's wrist so hard that she probably still has the marks. The girl was balanced with her legs on the metal that runs beneath the bridge in the position to let go and just drop into the water. My SIL begged the girl not to jump and was able to convince the girl to come back to the other side of the railing. Meanwhile I spoke to 911, gave a description of the girl and stood a bit away for fear of scaring the girl and causing her to try and jump again. My SIL made her sit on the bridge and sat with her trying to get her to see that she would be missed, that nothing is that bad and that people did care.
When the police finally arrived (seemed like forever but I'm sure it was not that long) she told them that she stopped taking her medications due to how they made her feel. The police had been looking for her since she left the care home where she was living because she and her care worker had gotten into an argument over her not taking her meds. Despite the lack of compassion projecting from the police officers the girl went with them to the hospital to get help anyway.
After they left my SIL and I still had to walk back. We had a hard time because the adrenalin was leaving our bodies at that moment and the reality of what just happened began to sink in. Had we not turned around she would be dead. Had my SIL not grabbed her wrists in time she would be dead.
We wanted to see her and show her that we cared. We wanted her to know that people out there want her to get better and value her life.
This is where the dumb ass comes in. The hospital would not allow us to see her because we are not family. I understand privacy and all of that but we just kept this girl alive, we care about her and not in a morbid "I wanna gawk at the girl that wanted to kill herself" way either. We actually genuinely want to make sure she is going to make it and not just get sent home and find herself on the bridge again when we aren't there to save her. They did tell us she was resting comfortably...of course she is, she's all hoped up on sedatives.
There was something that told us to turn around when we did. Something bigger than us was at work. Maybe she was meant to be a lesson for us. We are meant to take something from this and apply it somewhere else.
There have been 3 incidents of dumbassery in my life in the last 3 days but I'm just too tired to write about the other 2 right now. Maybe some other time I will fill you in.
Two days ago it my SIL and I decided to go for a walk at lunch over the walking bridge and back. It was a beautiful sunny day and the river was so calm that is was like a sheet of glass. We walked across to the north side and over the Nashwaak River walking bridge for a few minutes, saw a garbage can in the water (most likely put there by the spring flood) and walked back to the south side.
As we were nearing the south end of the bridge a very slim, young woman walked past us in the opposite direction. I couldn't help but notice the way she was holding her hands. They were pulled up at 90 degrees and her fingers were all bent in a strange way like she was very agitated. She also looked so very desperate and full of despair. My SIL noticed all of this at the same time and mentioned that something didn't seem right. Just then we both looked behind us in the direction of the young woman.
She put her foot on the first rung of the wooden railing. My SIL says in a rushed ton "holy F*@#! She's gonna jump!!" And just then the woman quickly scaled the whole railing and threw her leg over the top and climbed down the other side. My SIL started running toward her and I ran toward a pair of girls and asked for a cell phone. I began dialing 911 while my SIL grabbed the girl's wrist so hard that she probably still has the marks. The girl was balanced with her legs on the metal that runs beneath the bridge in the position to let go and just drop into the water. My SIL begged the girl not to jump and was able to convince the girl to come back to the other side of the railing. Meanwhile I spoke to 911, gave a description of the girl and stood a bit away for fear of scaring the girl and causing her to try and jump again. My SIL made her sit on the bridge and sat with her trying to get her to see that she would be missed, that nothing is that bad and that people did care.
When the police finally arrived (seemed like forever but I'm sure it was not that long) she told them that she stopped taking her medications due to how they made her feel. The police had been looking for her since she left the care home where she was living because she and her care worker had gotten into an argument over her not taking her meds. Despite the lack of compassion projecting from the police officers the girl went with them to the hospital to get help anyway.
After they left my SIL and I still had to walk back. We had a hard time because the adrenalin was leaving our bodies at that moment and the reality of what just happened began to sink in. Had we not turned around she would be dead. Had my SIL not grabbed her wrists in time she would be dead.
We wanted to see her and show her that we cared. We wanted her to know that people out there want her to get better and value her life.
This is where the dumb ass comes in. The hospital would not allow us to see her because we are not family. I understand privacy and all of that but we just kept this girl alive, we care about her and not in a morbid "I wanna gawk at the girl that wanted to kill herself" way either. We actually genuinely want to make sure she is going to make it and not just get sent home and find herself on the bridge again when we aren't there to save her. They did tell us she was resting comfortably...of course she is, she's all hoped up on sedatives.
There was something that told us to turn around when we did. Something bigger than us was at work. Maybe she was meant to be a lesson for us. We are meant to take something from this and apply it somewhere else.
There have been 3 incidents of dumbassery in my life in the last 3 days but I'm just too tired to write about the other 2 right now. Maybe some other time I will fill you in.
Friday, September 12, 2008
.ca and .com make a big difference
Please let me start by apologizing for not posting sooner. It appears that when you are trying to log in you must know whether or not your email ends with .ca or .com. Of course I chose the wrong one and for months have not been able to access my blog account. Sometimes I wonder if the powers that created me didn't just put my brain in upside down just for fits and giggles.
I also have to tell you that due to recent events in my life I'm going to have to cut my story short....basically turf it all together. No matter what I write it will be waaaaaay too close to reality than what is comfortable considering what has been going on in my life these past four weeks. No, I'm not going to get into the details of that but I'll tell you that it wasn't pretty and I, in no way, want to relive that again.
Anyhooo.....
Again, I will change the direction of my blog. Don' t worry everyone, I'm not really going mental or anything I just miss writing about the happenings in my little corner of the world. I can't promise it will always be exciting, quite frankly I can do without a little excitement for awhile.
This morning I attended the annual Harvest Jazz and Blues breakfast. For $5 you get 2 pancakes, 2 sausages and a coffee or juice or both. All the proceeds go to local city high school bands. Since my son and daughter are both aspiring musicians I believe this to be a worthy cause and a great event. The music is fantastic and fills you with energy at 7:00am. I have decided to make this an annual event for me since attending last year. This year was rather more interesting I can tell you that. Here are a few observations from this year's Harvest Jazz and Blues breakfast:
1) Matt Anderson is a great Blues artist, I may just buy one of his CDs today.
2) I saw a man with a full, grey beard wearing a red dress and black heals. Yup, reread that and you'll still need to read it again to believe it.
3) A woman was dancing like Elaine from Seinfield on crack in front of the stage kicking her legs up into the air like an angry Russian. It was hilarious!!!
So that's what going on, next year I want to bring my knitting and attend more events. I thought maybe I'd get a pass, go the the events and knit a pair of socks while attending and call them my Harvest Jazz and Blues socks.
I also have to tell you that due to recent events in my life I'm going to have to cut my story short....basically turf it all together. No matter what I write it will be waaaaaay too close to reality than what is comfortable considering what has been going on in my life these past four weeks. No, I'm not going to get into the details of that but I'll tell you that it wasn't pretty and I, in no way, want to relive that again.
Anyhooo.....
Again, I will change the direction of my blog. Don' t worry everyone, I'm not really going mental or anything I just miss writing about the happenings in my little corner of the world. I can't promise it will always be exciting, quite frankly I can do without a little excitement for awhile.
This morning I attended the annual Harvest Jazz and Blues breakfast. For $5 you get 2 pancakes, 2 sausages and a coffee or juice or both. All the proceeds go to local city high school bands. Since my son and daughter are both aspiring musicians I believe this to be a worthy cause and a great event. The music is fantastic and fills you with energy at 7:00am. I have decided to make this an annual event for me since attending last year. This year was rather more interesting I can tell you that. Here are a few observations from this year's Harvest Jazz and Blues breakfast:
1) Matt Anderson is a great Blues artist, I may just buy one of his CDs today.
2) I saw a man with a full, grey beard wearing a red dress and black heals. Yup, reread that and you'll still need to read it again to believe it.
3) A woman was dancing like Elaine from Seinfield on crack in front of the stage kicking her legs up into the air like an angry Russian. It was hilarious!!!
So that's what going on, next year I want to bring my knitting and attend more events. I thought maybe I'd get a pass, go the the events and knit a pair of socks while attending and call them my Harvest Jazz and Blues socks.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Chapter One, Part One - The note
Please meet me at 8:00pm in front of the fountain. We need to talk. I reread the note again. I'm not sure why I feel so anxious when I read his words. He never was the best printer but seeing his round, boyish letters written on this little card makes me feel heavy with something that I can't explain. Why does he still have that affect on me after such a long time? I can still feel how his hands felt on my skin, touching under my arm and telling me how soft my skin is there. His boyish smile, his laugh...the memory of both leave me with a sense of deep longing, like I've never felt since.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
So it begins.....
Sunny Side Up has been resurrected but this time it'll be better than ever. I really wanted to start something a little different with this new blog. What I thought I would do is mix a little fiction, with a few moments from my life and throw in an update or two regarding my many projects on the go.
Here's what I suggest:
I will begin writing a story and when I'm done feel free to add your comments about the characters or the direction of the story. I will look at your suggestion and comments and write my next segment based on what you suggest and we'll see where this takes us. This will be a somewhat interactive blog.
I look forward to your participation! I'll write the first segment very soon.
Here's what I suggest:
I will begin writing a story and when I'm done feel free to add your comments about the characters or the direction of the story. I will look at your suggestion and comments and write my next segment based on what you suggest and we'll see where this takes us. This will be a somewhat interactive blog.
I look forward to your participation! I'll write the first segment very soon.
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